remember me?

I have grown up a lot over the past few years. I'm thankful for the changes I have made for the better. Not drinking to get drunk, working on eliminating pornography, and changing a few of the people I hang out with have been amazing changes. The change I don't like so much is the one where I stopped laughing. I want to laugh so much more than I have been recently. I really loved me when I didn't take myself so seriously.

new family

My dad sent me a text message earlier in the week informing me that my great aunt Bertha had died.  I had no clue who she was.  My dad gave me the brief rundown of who she was. She was my grandfathers sister.  No clue.  My dad was planning on coming up for the funeral but he could not get vacation days.  I had no plans on going to the funeral because I hate funerals and I did not know her.  Kristie called my dad and got the information for one of my cousins and get her address and talked me into going up tonight to meet them.  I'm so glad that she did.  I've been in Ohio for over a year now and did not know that I had such a big family in Cleveland.  I was thinking I was up here all alone especially now that my sister who was in Rochester, NY moved back to Texas.  We showed up and we greeted by hugs and extreme hospitality.  We told each other how we were related and got names of our respective families.  We even called some people up and I found out the names of my great great grandparents on one side and all the way up to my great-great-great grandparents on the other side.  My Great great grandfather's name was King Whitby and apparently he was Irish(I always suspected I had white in my family).  It so cool to have family 45 mins away now.  We were invited to come up for memorial day with them.  I'm super excited to not feel so lonely now even thought I don't know them that well.  I know they are family and I know they are here.

Speech Class

I don't like to get in front of people and talk.  I really don't like it.  Despite my disdain for public speaking, I have actually been doing quite well in my Effective Communication class.  Last week for our speeches we were given the choice of an Introduction, Presentation of an award, or a Eulogy.  We were told we could be as creative as we wanted to be.  I chose to a Eulogy.  I chose to eulogize the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.   I actually wrote my speech out before class and practiced it.  When I got to class I heard what some of the other people did and I came to the conclusion that my speech was not creative or funny enough.  Although I had one written and practiced,  I made the risky move of improvising.   I completely made it up when I got to the podium.  Amazingly, the class and the teacher responded very well!  We got our grades back tonight and I got a 100! Instructor said it was, "Very creative, very good, and very funny!"  What?  I'm pretty proud of myself, but I still hate public speaking

Repercussions

Today is a brand new day.  While yesterday is gone, I still have to live with the choices that were made.  I want to feel sorry for myself, but I know that I have no one to blame except myself.  I have tons of debt.  The only way to get out of it is to get a second job.  I will absolutely have no time for my family.  I don't see any other way.  I have engaged myself in several online ventures.  We'll see how motivated I can be with them.  Anyway, I hope you all are having a great day.

First Post

I need to write more.  I have so many thoughts and ideas running through my head.  I need to release them and stop holding on to so much.  I don't know if I can keep up with posting everyday, but I will try.  I hope you can find something you like with this blog.  Some inspiration, find your way back to good, whatever you are looking for.